How Do You Know That You Like Someone

Well judging from the title of this blog is yet about another moment of our life where we ask ourselves ....how do we know as an individual that the person we know is someone we like?

To be frank, if you ask me many years ago, I'd probably have lots to tell you and that is very true. When I was younger then, if there is one particular girl I like comes along. I would have a lot of thoughts and emotions going around me such as even butterflies in the tummy, exciteness, bashfulness and of course, increased heartbeats too.....just to name a few. Mainly because when I was a teenager, I had very few opportunity to be with a girl or even should I say that I never had a girlfriend. Thus, it would be natural for me to feel inexperience and also not knowing what to do....even the girl liked me or something. I was regarded by many of my buddies as a dummy as I exercise a great deal of restraints and discipline, and that I was too conservative. Maybe it was a good thing then or not, I am not sure but least of all that I had lived my teenage years without regret, remorse or even guilt as I have done nothing wrong.

This days after so many years had passed and of course a failed marriage, I have found it very hard and difficult to raise the emotions again. Even telling someone 'I like you' is very hard and most of the times I get tongue-tied, or unless I am a little tipsy maybe it is easier. Nevertheless, I really wonder in the years to come.....would I be another lonely soul? I hate to end it all this way but do I really have a choice.

I just wanted to find someone whom I could share my ups and downs with and of course, so will I to share her ups and downs too. But it ain't really easy, or maybe because I got 'burnt' too badly after my marriage failed that the phobia remains. I guess the truth is I cannot take another blow in relationship anymore. Maybe its too premature to say or live with it, deep within, there is some faint hope that there may be someone out there waiting for me........

Here's another of my songs which I wrote on a cantonese hit:-

Yesterday's Love - Sam Kong

Verse 1
Why do you choose to leave
When our love has just begun
Now that you are gone
My life would simply fall apart

Verse 2
What can I say to you
To change your mind from leaving
Now that you are gone
I just couldn't live another day

Chorus:
In the day, it seems so hard to past
In the night, it is so cold
Now that I face the world all alone
What would happen to me

Verse 3
Someday you will see
That our love was just history
Say you'll stay
I will give you all the love you need

Music : Sam Hui (天才白痴往日情)
Lyrics : Sam Kong (14.2.1989)

The Love In Sam's Life

There is an old saying....'Behind the success of a man, there is a woman'. How true it can be but as one of Sir Issac Newton's theories proven, 'behind the failure of a man, there is also a woman'. How ideal is that? Only those who had been there will know, as for me, I am nowhere close to either side of the story.


Looking back in time...bringing myself back to the early 80's where I was into my teens, I could recall every girl who I have had some kind of affection for but it is now merely serves as a memory (or should I say excess memory). If someone actually asks me, how many girls did actually engrave herself deeply within me? I really could not answer without giving it much of a thought as it is not that I had too many girls to recall instead it was too few to actually think that some of them actually left her mark in me.

I'd be brave enough to say there were 4 girls who actually left some form of image, memory and feelings within me. From the 4 of them there were 2 from the same school....River Valley High (1982 to 1985). First there was someone by the name of Clarina Chay, who I felt quite strongly for but we did not work out because of our indifference in beliefs and religion. The 2nd girl from River Valley High too is Jennifer Chong, she came into my life back in Mar 1985 until Oct 1985 and again on Jan 1988 till July 1988. Jennifer was the one which I felt then, the strongest as I never did gave up hope on her but all efforts were in vain. The 3rd girl which I am about to mention here should have been mentioned first, but I guess it was more of the truth that she did actually help me up in my darkest hour as a teenager then, her name was Tan Poh Har. Now coming to the last one, I will not mention her name as she was to be my first girlfriend, and became my wife and now she is my ex-wife. I gave her my everything and in expection of nothing of the extra-ordinary but it did not work out in the end. I blamed no one but myself mostly, though the hurt is very evident and it shall remain as long as I am alive.

In all fairness, sometimes it is so difficult to project our feelings to someone.....without the constant fear of being misunderstood. I have had so many bad experiences and it is like so many that I practically can 'smell' it. I pray and pray....someone who would understand my thoughts, beliefs and of course, believe in me.

Till I write again....remember, LOVE IS BLIND but the person in it ain't

Man & Woman

Everyone knows that it is impossible for a man to really love without a woman, and it could also be the same the other way round too. Nonetheless, is it a known fact that when a man is with a woman, there must be physical intimacy....well maybe so, but not at the very beginning of their aquaintance. I have never believed that SEX should be the key to a successful relationship in fact, I have even doubts that once SEX comes between a relationship, it would end in a flash.

Maybe I am too old-fashioned in mindset and in beliefs but I have preached and abide by the GOLDEN RULES which I have set for myself since I was very young. To be frank, many would have said I am a FOOL but to me, my conscience is CRYSTAL CLEAR.

Just the other day (Saturday), I was out with a lady friend. I have known her for a while but I kept my distance as I do not want to ruin everything but expressing myself to early or coming on too strong. I kept my end of the bargain by being a Gentleman as always, and have been this way for years. I believe that is the best policy. "Banging" all over the place doesn't mean a thing as in the past, I used to have friends who'd share their stories, when intoxicated with alcohol, about their 'trophies' and the greatness of their 'bang bang'. I ignored those kind of behaviour and disregard that as ethical or right. I think its always important to be clear of our intentions and as noble as they were, the intentions should remain as it is and not to be corrupted by LUST.

I always like movies of great script and humour, perhaps I would like to share ONE such movie with all .... who may be able to understand what I feel or go through.....

In all fairness, I may not be the softness in communications as HITCH....but least I have a HEART.

April's Done .... and May's coming

It has been awhile now since I last written anything on my own blog.....reason being that everytime I tried to bring myself to write something here....the thoughts within me are being torn apart in all directions making it absolutely difficult to focus and to really want to write something that's in my head at the point of time.

As the days draw nearer for me....towards my 40th birthday, I could not help but to really linger what's life gonna be like from now on. Reflecting at this moment was a Japanese series I have watched several times titled The Proposal...which is about a 40 year old man who wants to get married and start a family but his attempts resulted in 99 rejections. He never gave up and went for his 100th attempt but again, it did not turn out well. Guessed sometimes a person's looks, his achievements and also his wealth do come into play here. Sadly realistic it seems but it is the fact of life that no one would deny.

I watched the Japanese serial when I was in my mid-20s then and I could really relate the pain and hardships borne by the 40 year old man then, and believe it or not, I am now 40 years old now and looks like facing the same predicament as the guy in the serial. You can say that life is like the series we all see and that sometimes, with the right shows, it reflects so much of our life.

Years ago, someone actually told me that in order to win the heart of a lady, you have to be noble, and really respect her as a lady.....but today, what I can see.....sigh, it is something that maybe useful in the yesteryears and not today. Guys with the most noble of all intentions normally end up in the wrong side things.

My heart though bruised by years of rejections and dejections, and it has found itself in its darkest hours of late. I have found it really hard to bring out the emotions, passion nor even the feeling of believing in LOVE. I guess LOVE is only meant for those who is destined to have it and not for the faint hearted like me. I drown myself in words and in lyrics of songs which if there is someone out there, who could appreciate it, is already a joy for me. It is really so difficult to tell someone you like her or even being nice to someone without being misinterpreted.

The rest is all left to fate and even if I am to live and die a lonely soul.......guessed....sometimes that's life is all about.

As usual before I end, I am gonna share another song with those reading my blog....

Love Song - Sam Kong

Where are you my love,
Do you know I miss you,
Wish you were here with me
Then our love is complete

There are times I would find
You were so far away,
I could feel you in my heart
Like you're here beside me

Our love seems so strong
Our love grew with time
To know that you loved me
Is all I need to know

Now that we are here,
Holding on so dear
It's the love that we have
That brought us here

Our love seems so strong
Our love grew with time
To know that I loved you
Is all you need to know

Lyrics : Sam Kong
Music : Sam Hui (何處覓蓬萊)