State of uncertainty

Really has been a long while since I last sat down in front of a PC and start to empty my thoughts. Empty my thoughts....would it be possible? What shall I remove first? Work thoughts, life thoughts, financial thoughts or things about love and companionship.
Seriously for me, till date, I hate to accept the fact that I am a lousy liar especially to myself. The fact that I kept telling myself I am OK and you are OK just to appease myself, worked for a while indeed but lately it has started to show signs that it is not gonna work for long. What's next? Sincerely I really don't know what I am gonna do when all the lies to make me feel ok is exhausted....how am I going to convince myself then.
The saddest truth till date that I fail to accept is that "Good guys hardly finish first" but the true metaphor is that "GOOD GUYS NEVER FINISH AT ALL" as they would be likely dumped, jilted or gets cheated at the end before even being in a relationship with the lady of his dreams/desire. The reality check is that it is never easy to be a gentleman or a good guy because most of the times, the women we encountered have had bad experiences in relationships already. Thus it makes it even more difficult to even try to be reassuring.
Just watched the movie "HITCH" again, most would wonder why am I watching this movie again and again. The fact that the character Alex Hitchens, played by Will Smith, really resembles slightly of what I have been through. In truth as mentioned in the movie....No Guile, No Game, No Girl. I believe how true it is this days as it would be impossible to go to someone who you think is nice and tell her, you like her and would like to get to know her better....and not to be mistaken by her at the end as she may think that you are someone who is looking for someone to be laid. How ugly the reality is? It kinda like bites you in the arse when even the intentions you have for her is true and noble.
This days for me, I just want to live day by day...working my socks off, burning myself out daily so that I would not have the zest nor the energy to think about as the only thought I have then is to "re-charge my batteries".

I would like to share this wonderful song to show everyone....how I would feel for the one I love....and ....sigh

More Than Just The Two Of Us - Sneakers (1983)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPX0i9M1RHI